Funk, Revisited

I’m gonna say it. 

Barnyard. 

At some point, funk became unfashionable. Oud used to be all about the barn until zero-barn became a thing.

But if all this lingo is new (or confusing) to you, here’s what you must know:

While the two terms have become conflated and many mistakenly use them interchangeably, there’s a crucial difference between ‘barnyard’ and ‘fecal’. 

Yes, there are ouds that smell… skanky and stool-like. I can’t wear them. Give one of my sifus a swipe, and they don’t waste a second bolting to the sink to wash it off. 

“Why do people like the sh*t smell?”, one asked, puzzled. 

The fermentation process that produces fecal-smelling oud is so nasty, the smell shouldn’t surprise you. There’s zero supervision, no standards of cleanliness, no filtration, insulation, water recycling, nothing. Dust is left to soak in whatever often-unclean water is nearby, and then left exposed to the humid elements for months. I’ve seen worms being born in such pots! It’s gross.

So let’s be clear: we’re not talking about oud that smells like excrement. If that’s your thing, you’re in the wrong place.

But here’s the problem: There are ouds in the grey zone. Ouds that have an element of barn yet also smell a little extramental, but only borderline detectable. Some might just think they smell ‘strong’. A little off, perhaps, but not quite sh*tty.

This kind of ‘oud’ is quite literally from agarwood that has gone off before it was even distilled. Rotten oud, bottled.

Sadly, a lot of generic oud falls in this category. It’s what many people know as ‘oud’ – and what other ouds are then compared to. Truth is, untrained noses aren’t comparing the scent of distilled agarwood, but merely stages of uncontrolled fermentation!

But when you start distilling higher-grade agarwood, and doing so in a clean, regulated, supervised environment – that’s when you move closer to the proper barnyard zone.

And I have no qualms with the barn. When it’s done right, it’s one of the richest profiles oud can offer. “Barnyard” in this case means the warm farmland air, horses grazing, the scent of freshly harvested hay, and wild flower pollen wafting all over. It smells wholesome the way freshly made farmbread does. 

Proper barn smells layered and nuanced, warm and lush. Rooibos herbaceous, hints of a hundred spices, with an earthen undertone that smells primal.

To discover proper, wholesome high-grade Indian ouds you can’t go wrong with – the kind that earns its funk – check these out:

Assam Organic >
Kachar 1979 >
Meghalaya 1977 >